10 Lies about Porn You Should not Believe

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Talking about pornography is unpleasant, but we have to because it’s everywhere.

Since the Coronavirus hit the world with its lockdown regulations, porn sites have been generous and offered free porn. Naturally, they’ve reported an upsurge in traffic. People are home and feeling bored, frustrated, anxious, or lonely, and porn offers “relief”.

Porn sites would have you believe that what they offer is – if not good for you – not bad.

How bad is porn? What’s the big deal about it?

The justifications for it are many, and today we’re looking at common lies people believe about porn.

#1 It’s just entertainment.

You may believe that using porn is not a big deal. If everyone else is doing it, it can’t be too serious a sin. But porn is not an innocent distraction or a harmless pastime. It impacts relationships, changes the brain (insert link here), and fuels sex trafficking.

#2 It’s educational.

It for sure is educational, but not in a healthy way. Learning about sex from porn means absorbing a lot of dangerous ideas about sexuality and women. Young people who learn about sex from porn often expect their partners to act out what they have seen, even if it’s painful, degrading, or dangerous.

What porn does teach is that sex, love, and intimacy are all the same thing. It’s OK to have sex with total strangers. All that matters is my satisfaction. It doesn’t matter whose body I’m using, as long as I get it. Sex is something you can have anytime, anywhere, with anyone, with no consequences.

Porn teaches that a woman’s value is determined by the attractiveness of her body. Women like rape. Women should be degraded, treated without respect, tortured and hurt. Little kids should have sex. Illegal sex is fun. Prostitution is glamorous.

Porn teaches men to enjoy hurting and abusing women instead of cherishing and protecting them.   

You can’t learn the truth about sex from pornography. It doesn’t deal in truth; it’s fantasy. It’s not made to educate. It’s made to sell.

#3 It’s not changing my thinking.

Porn portrays women as less than human – cute little animals like bunnies, pets, or playmates – making them a toy to be played with and cast aside. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.

“In porn, no matter how rough a person treats their partner, nearly everything looks like it feels good. In fact, in the study of popular porn videos, in nine scenes out of 10, a woman was being hit, beaten, yelled at, or otherwise harmed, and the result was almost always the same: the victim either responded with pleasure or had no response at all.” [i]

Like it or not, viewing porn will change your thinking.

#4 Porn affects only me.

Yes it does affect you – there is a cost to your soul. But beside the cost to your own soul, it does cost others. Pornography changes how men see women which eventually translates into how men treat women. There is a cost to families – they are torn apart by men and women forsaking each other for the pleasures of porn. Children are exposed to it because of their parents’ indulgence.

Even though using porn happens in secret, it still affects those around you.

#5 I need it. It will satisfy.

It is true that a man feels a sexual build-up every few days, but nothing bad will happen if he does not experience release. His body will break down the sperm and reabsorb it.

Pornography may offer a temporary sexual release (it always goes together with masturbation), but it will not satisfy the longings of the heart, fill the emptiness of the soul, soothe any pain, or comfort the lonely. It is not a reward but a punishment.  It promises satisfaction and delivers misery.

#6 It makes sex better.

Watching porn causes arousal making sex easier and faster for men and women. It may even result in a more powerful climax. But sex is more than just a physical response. It is an emotional and spiritual act as well. Without those two components, sex is reduced to a physical act only and leaves both men and women empty, dissatisfied, and disconnected.  

#7 I deserve it because she is holding out on me.

We have had emails from men saying they have turned to porn because their wives are not giving them sex. But viewing porn is not going to fix a broken sex life. It’s going to make it worse. The only way to solve a broken sex life is to start talking about it.

#8 It’s OK because we’re married.

Nope. Sorry. Porn trains the mind and body to be aroused by an image and damages a person’s ability to be aroused by their spouse. Bringing porn into your marriage will not make sex better in the long run. It causes erectile dysfunction for men, and creates feelings of insecurity in women.

The Bible is clear: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honourable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.” 

This instruction applies to all – married or not.

#9 You can have both: porn and the satisfaction of a real relationship.

The reality is that porn takes a heavy toll on real-life relationships. When a partner discovers that their loved-one is using porn, they feel shocked, rejected, humiliated, and betrayed.

Even if your partner has no problem with porn, it will still damage your relationship. Porn erodes a person’s ability to love and feel loved with a real partner. When men are exposed to porn, they become more critical and dissatisfied with their partner’s appearance and sexual performance.

Porn is directly related to problems with attraction, arousal, sexual performance, a lower sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and difficulty reaching orgasm.

#10 I am beyond hope. I can never overcome it.

This final lie is the one the devil loves to use on his victims. If he can strip you of hope, he has you trapped. But God offers freedom from sin and addiction. He offers power to break free; a power far greater than the power of porn.

There is no sin stronger than Christ’s sacrifice; no sin you have committed so many times that you have to commit it again; no sin Jesus cannot and will not forgive.

You are not beyond hope or redemption.

No matter what the rest of the world would have you believe, porn is not OK. It is not good for you. It is not innocent. It will destroy your relationships.

Additional reading: How to overcome a pornography addiction

What other lies have you heard about porn?


[i] https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-warps-ideas-about-sex/

About The Author

Jennifer Lovemore

Jennifer has diplomas in relationship counselling and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), is a certified SYMBIS facilitator, and is certified in TPM (Transformation Prayer Minsitry). She lives in South Africa, has three grown children, and is married to her best friend – Richard.

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