11 Ways to Overcome Fear & Anxiety

Life has always been too big for me. A burden. Fear has been my constant companion. I have been afraid of people, of exams, of dentists, of dying, of suffering.  of leaving home, of giving birth, of talking to strangers, of answering the phone, of daily living, of losing my children, that God won’t keep His promises. Afraid.  Always afraid. Paralyzed by fear for most of my life, I learned to bury it deep. On the surface I was bright, cheery, and cheeky. But the fear was there. And it kept me from being happy. It made daily…

29 Ways to Practice Self-care

There’s an idea in both the Christian and non-Christian world that working yourself to death is good. Being busy is noble. Stressing is praiseworthy. And that taking care of yourself is selfish. But this idea is not in harmony with the Bible. The Bible actually endorses the opposite – take care of yourself. Here’s some support for this idea: When Elijah fled Jezebel, the angel of the Lord advocated self-care, saying, “Arise and eat, because the journey is too great for thee.” (1 Kings 19:7 KJV) In Mark 12:30-31 Jesus tells us…

6 Things to Do When You Don’t Feel Like Praying

Do you ever not feel like praying? Is praying really that important? Is breathing important? If you’ve ever swum underwater, aiming to reach the other end of the pool, you know how desperate you get for air. Breathing becomes the one thing you are focused on. Nothing else matters! Without it you’re gonna die! Just as without breathing we die, without prayer our relationship with God will die. Prayer is the breath of the soul.  “To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.”  Martin Luther What to do…

How to Manage Finances in Marriage

Did you know that money is listed as one of the top reasons couples divorce? Why is money such a touchy subject? It’s touchy because: It involves shame or pride about whether you’re earning enough or earning at all. Money is often the measure of status, power or personal efficacy. You may feel entitlement about what you think you deserve. You or your spouse may be in denial of debt. You may have guilt over poor decisions in the past. It involves fear and insecurity about not having enough now or in the future. We compare ourselves with…

2 Ways to Improve your Communication Skills

If you’ve ever watched a soapie you’ll know that one of the biggest problems in the onscreen relationships is lack of communication. (This is why I don’t watch them – it frustrates me!) Half the drama could be eliminated if the people would either just tell each other what’s going on in their heads or stop assuming they know what the other person is thinking! (But then I suppose the story wouldn’t drag out for so long, right?) Whether you are just entering a relationship, about to get married, are newly married or have…

How to Talk About Issues in your Marriage Instead of Ignoring them

Do you ignore issues in your marriage and pretend everything is ok? Do you dread conflict so much that you’d rather not say anything? Do you hope the bad feelings will just go away? The reality is that avoiding emotional pain in your relationship works against you. Unsolved relationship issues trigger deeper worries about how safe and secure you feel together and will create emotional distance between you. This means you are missing out on some of the biggest blessings of marriage! How to bring up issues in your relationship How can you go from not talking to talking…

14 Things Not to do When You’re in a “Fight”

Every relationship has conflict. Whether it’s a marriage relationship, parent-child relationship or a work relationship, there’s going to be conflict because there are two people involved, both with different perspectives. Since conflict can’t be avoided it needs to be managed. How are you managing conflict in your relationships or is it going unresolved? Are you frustrated with your relationships because they are just not working? You may be doing some things that are making your conflict worse without even knowing it. 14 things NOT to do in a fight: 1. Don’t involve a third…

How to Reignite the Passion in your Marriage

Do you want to reignite the passion in your marriage? Is it really necessary to maintain the spark? Definitely! Just because you’ve been married for 10, 15, 25, 35 years, doesn’t mean you can’t have chemistry in your relationship. In fact, the state of your sexual intimacy indicates the state of your relationship. Sex is the canary in the coal mine. Let me explain. Miners used to place a canary in a cage inside the mine to alert them of the presence of deadly gases. If the canary fell over dead, the miners knew to get out…

4 Ways to Develop Spiritual Intimacy with Your Spouse

I’ve written about 4 Ways to Grow Intimacy in Your Marriage before, but today we’ll be looking at one aspect of intimacy – spiritual connection – and how to grow it as a couple. Only a secure connection with your spouse will build a marriage that lasts. But there’s more to connection than talking and touching. Aside from the physical and emotional elements, we also have a spiritual dimension. This is the one couples often skip – either because it’s non-existent or because they don’t think it’s important. But, it’s…