Emotional Health

Toxic relationships, self-care, personal growth, boundaries, emotional health.

11 Ways to Overcome Fear & Anxiety

Life has always been too big for me. A burden. Fear has been my constant companion. I have been afraid of people, of exams, of dentists, of dying, of suffering.  of leaving home, of giving birth, of talking to strangers, of answering the phone, of daily living, of losing my children, that God won’t keep His promises. Afraid.  Always afraid. Paralyzed by fear for most of my life, I learned to bury it deep. On the surface I was bright, cheery, and cheeky. But the fear was there. And it kept me from being happy. It made daily…

29 Ways to Practice Self-care

There’s an idea in both the Christian and non-Christian world that working yourself to death is good. Being busy is noble. Stressing is praiseworthy. And that taking care of yourself is selfish. But this idea is not in harmony with the Bible. The Bible actually endorses the opposite – take care of yourself. Here’s some support for this idea: When Elijah fled Jezebel, the angel of the Lord advocated self-care, saying, “Arise and eat, because the journey is too great for thee.” (1 Kings 19:7 KJV) In Mark 12:30-31 Jesus tells us…

How to Live with a Negative Person

Did you know that living with a negative person can actually make you depressed? Science shows that “there is an atmosphere – an aura, they call it – that surrounds us and reaches out toward others. That atmosphere, propelled by the heart, reaches out from four to ten feet, depending on the individual. It contains our conscious and subconscious thoughts and feelings, and either the love or the fear we live in.” [i] The atmosphere that surrounds each person has a conscious or unconscious effect on the people around them. This means that living with a negative person will have a direct…

12 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

I’ve written about red flags in relationships before (Read that here) But today let’s look at the converse and talk about the good side of relationships – the green flags; the things that say, “Move forward; this is healthy”. If you’re looking for a healthy relationship, make sure you not only see these things in the other person, but that you are working on them yourself.   If you’re married, you can’t make your spouse develop any of these things, but you can work on becoming a better partner yourself. These are the positive indicators for…

Grieving the Death of a Difficult Person – What Does it Feel Like?

Every person grieves the loss of a loved one differently – partly because each person is an individual but also because each relationship is different. I’ve written about this before: How to Cope with Grief and Loss    And today we’re talking about grieving from a different angle: Grieving the death of someone with whom you had a difficult or toxic relationship. Recently, a friend sent me an article on grieving the death of someone you didn’t like. I resonated with the article so much – not because I didn’t like the person who died, but…

7 Simple Ways to Ditch Depression and Feel Better Fast

Let’s face it, times are tough, and the future looks bleak. We’ve lost jobs, income, social interaction, church attendance, sport, and recreation – all the things that bring pleasure, relieve stress, and provide our most basic needs. We have so many unanswered questions: What does the future hold? What’s the point of living if there’s nothing to live for? How will we provide for our families? How will we survive the troubled times ahead? The subconscious anxiety and hopelessness is debilitating and paralysing.   And the natural result of this is depression. Let’s face it, depression…

What Forgiveness is & What it is Not

Let’s face it, forgiving someone is not easy. In fact, it can be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Forgiving someone could be hard for a number of reasons: Not understanding what it really is Fearing to hold the person accountable because it feels judgemental Desiring to “punish” the person who wounded you Never having received forgiveness yourself, or, Not understanding God’s forgiveness And sometimes it’s just plain having a prideful heart that wants revenge, and enjoying the sense of power that comes from hanging on to unforgiveness. Figuring out what forgiveness really is could help…

How to Cope with Grief and Loss

Grieving is an awkward thing. It’s not something you can put in a box and say “this is how it works”. It’s changeable and unpredictable, and a highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on your personality, your life experience, and your faith. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. What is grief? Grief is the natural response to loss. It’s normal. Healthy. If you have lost someone or something, you should grieve. But grief comes in many shapes and forms, and for different reasons. You grieve when you lose a loved one or friend…

What to do if you are in an Abusive Relationship

Brenda and I went to school together and I attended her wedding way back when. She glowed with happiness as people pinned money to her wedding gown at the reception. It all looked so perfect, but I didn’t know she’d be stuck in an abusive relationship for years. Brenda stayed stuck because she felt unworthy and like the abuse was her fault. She forgave and forgot countless times, hoping things would get better. They didn’t.   Sticking things through? Taught to stick things through, Brenda tried harder to please her abusive husband. And then it all became…