Love & Marriage

Intimacy in marriage, sex, communication, boundaries, and romance.

How to Tell the Difference Between Flirting and Friendliness

Do you struggle to tell the difference between flirting and friendliness? How do you tell if someone is flirting or just being nice? Not being able to recognise the difference often leads to being hurt because you thought the person really liked you and had a genuine interest in you.   Flirting happens to both single and married people and it can be hard to tell the difference because they’re so close. It can also be difficult to know how to be friendly without flirting. I’ve seen naturally friendly girls mistaken as flirts, and I’ve also seen…

How to Control Sexual Desire before Marriage

Is it wrong to have sexual desires before marriage? Absolutely not! God created physical attraction as an exciting part of romantic relationship. God created sex to be a healthy part of the marriage relationship. He designed it to be a bonding experience between a man and woman that connects them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The trick is to keep it under control until the right time. The natural progression of love is for it to be expressed physically at some point. However, God designed physical touch between a man and woman to be the catalyst for sexual intimacy and restraining…

6 Ways to Boost your Wife’s Desire During Sex

I recently received an email from a man with this question: “My wife complains that during sexual intimacy I don’t speak words that boost her desire much. I just repeat the usual words, “I love you”. It’s like I have a limited vocabulary. How can I include more variety in what I say to my wife and boost her desire?” Great question! Let’s dive in and figure this out. First, let me say that a woman’s sexual response is a little more complicated than a man’s. It’s not a switch…

12 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

I’ve written about red flags in relationships before (Read that here) But today let’s look at the converse and talk about the good side of relationships – the green flags; the things that say, “Move forward; this is healthy”. If you’re looking for a healthy relationship, make sure you not only see these things in the other person, but that you are working on them yourself.   If you’re married, you can’t make your spouse develop any of these things, but you can work on becoming a better partner yourself. These are the positive indicators for…

10 Ways to Make A Woman Feel Loved (that cost nothing)

 Today I’m answering a reader question, sent by a young man asking for advice on love and relationships. He wants to know, “What makes women feel loved?” Whew! Tough question. Women are complicated! Ask this question of 100 different women and you’ll probably get 100 different answers.   Some love flowers. Some love messages. Some love gifts (I have a friend who loves getting tools as gifts – how’s that for unusual?).  Some women love quality time, others feel loved when you help out with the kids or empty the trash.  It can all seem very…

How to get Comfortable Talking about Sex with your Spouse

Someone once said to me, “My husband and I don’t talk about sex. As far as I’m concerned, once it’s done, it’s over and I don’t talk about it”. Another woman asked, “We struggle to talk about being intimate and what it is we really want. We tried to talk about it but we can’t seem to find the right way to do it. We are still intimate but I feel we don’t know how to express our feelings and needs. Do you have any suggestions?” How about you and your spouse? Are…

What to Expect from the First Few Years of Marriage

Getting married is great! You’ve dreamed of being together for so long, planned for it, and now it’s a reality! Being together ALL the time is one of the best things about being married, but you’ll also begin to notice some things about your spouse that you didn’t notice before – because now you actually live together. What else can you expect from marriage in the first few years? Let’s dive in!   Positives: Waking up together every day. Never having to say goodbye at the end of the day. Physical intimacy (hopefully lots of it…

5 Reasons to Get Premarital Counseling and Set Yourself Up for a Successful Marriage

Falling in love, preparing to marry, and getting married should be the happiest time in your life.   Many people enter marriage expecting bliss, end up horribly disappointed, and wonder what went wrong. A huge reason is because a lot of people enter marriage broken, hurting, and immature, and they believe that marriage will fix their personal issues. But marriage won’t make problems go away. Marriage only magnifies what you refuse to address prior to getting married. And these unresolved issues often create marital misery. There’s a saying that goes, “Victory loves preparation”, and it applies very much…

Should Married Couples do Everything Together?

I received a message from a young woman asking if it’s wrong for her to want her husband to do everything with her.   She believes that a young couple should be together as much as they can, and wants to do everything with her husband – even if he just keeps her company while she does stuff. But her husband doesn’t agree. He’s tired when he gets home from work and doesn’t want to follow her around while she does stuff. Her argument is that after work is the only time they get to see each…