Does the thought of God in the bedroom make you feel uneasy?
Like some who believe God created the earth and then left it to its own devices, we think that God made sex and then backed out, having nothing more to do with ‘it’.
Why is it difficult to put God and sex together?
Because the world has claimed it.
And it portrays its view everywhere without shame.
Our culture has smeared our view of sex with 50 shades of sludge, and God’s ideal for sex has been so obscured, we don’t even know what it should be.
What was God’s intention for sex? Why did He create it?
“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” Genesis 2:25
We are more than just physical beings. We have emotional and spiritual natures that cannot be separated from the physical. Whatever we do to the one, affects the other aspects of our being.
So, when the Bible speaks of nakedness, it is speaking of more than just physical nakedness. It implies emotional and spiritual nakedness too.
Our culture has made the mistake of making sex only about the physical and it leaves us longing for something more.
This is why pornography grabs us so easily – it focuses on the physical side of sex only. And, because it’s only about the physical, people try more extreme, kinky things to get the thrill they’re looking for.
They’re stuck in a cycle of emptiness leading to more emptiness.
But, if we combine the physical with the emotional and spiritual aspects of sex, it will be far more fulfilling because it includes all that we are.
“Deeply satisfying sex occurs when husbands and wives connect the physical with the spiritual, emotional, relational, and psychological sides of sex. When all these facets work together, couples enter the mystery of the oneness God intended.” [i]
God intended sex to be a deep, intimate, loving, bonding experience for couples. A safe place to bare themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
It may feel awkward connecting God with passionate sex, but God designed sex to mirror His relationship with us. And He is passionate about us.
Not only is God passionate about us, we were created with a hunger for God, and He uses sex as imagery for that deep hunger we have for a spiritual union with Him.
“In sex, we’re not just desiring each other; we’re expressing something of God’s relationship with us… For men it’s saying, “This is mine.” For women, it’s saying “I am not my own.” It’s actually a beautiful picture of how God longs to see us surrender. And it can only occur between a man and woman.”[ii]
Sex between a man and wife should be free from force, coercion or fear. God does not dominate us – He treats us with love and respect, and our sexuality should express that.
Does that mean married sex should be dull and boring, or (as depicted in the movies) not happening at all?
Just because there’s no force or kinkiness does not mean sex should be tame.
While we should feel loved and cherished, we should also feel strong passion.
“God wants us to enjoy our bodies. He wants us to feel completely one, to yearn for each other, to explore. But this should never replace our yearning for Him, and as we learn to yearn for Him, we likely yearn for each other more too. The key to a passionate marriage is not to be as sexually adventurous as possible, but to be as passionate about God as possible. As we come close to Him, we’ll experience more freedom and more energy in the bedroom.”[iii]
Passionate sex does not make us unspiritual, because spirituality is not void of passion.
I hope that makes you long for sex the way God designed it to be and that you will pursue a sexual relationship with your spouse that reflects God’s passion for you.
“The two most intimate things a husband and wife can do are have sex and pray. Combine prayer and sex, and you and your spouse move into the most powerful, selfless, guilt-free experience you can have.” [iv]
So here’s your challenge as a couple: Begin praying before or after you make love. Ask God to bless your union, to enjoy each other’s bodies, and to bind you together physically, emotionally and spiritually.
This may feel awkward at first, but do it anyway!
God created sex. It breaks Him to see it
We miss out on so much when we buy into our culture’s version of sexuality and miss God’s original intention for it:
Passionate yet pure. Hot yet holy. Powerful yet cherishing.
If we leave God out of the bedroom, we will never taste the full pleasure and meaning of sex.
Do you feel awkward about including God in your sexual relationship? Why? What will you do to change that?
[i] Dr Gary & Barbara Rosberg, The Five Sex Needs of Men and Women, 7
[ii] Sheila Wray Gregoire, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, 164/165
[iii] Ibid., 169
[iv] Rosberg, The Five Sex Needs of Men and Women, 236