How to Keep Your Hormones from Ruining Your Marriage


For the men and husbands out there: please read this so you can understand and support your wife. If you’re not married it will give you insight into the struggle women face and help you understand your future wife.

Hormones are wonderful things.

And terrible things.

They make you feel great one moment and awful the next.

If you’re a woman you most likely resonate with this. It’s estimated that as many as 3 of every 4 menstruating women have experienced some form of premenstrual syndrome. [i]

I am definitely one of those 3 out of 4. PMS has affected how I cope with life and how I treat my husband and my kids in a big way.  

I was so irritable at times that I wanted to bang my head on the floor, throw things, or break things. I bordered on suicidal and it scared me.  

(By the way, PMS is very real and is not “just in our heads”. J  And we can’t simply “pull ourselves together”.)

Here are symptoms of PMS that typically occur a week or more before menstruation:

Emotional Symptoms:

Tension and anxiety

Depression

Crying spells

Irritability and anger

Social withdrawal

Poor concentration

Change in libido

Feeling overwhelmed

Physical Symptoms:

Headache

Exhaustion

Fluid retention

Bloating

Breast tenderness

Acne flare-ups

Constipation or diarrhoea

I suffered from PMS from the time my menstrual cycle began. Looking at the list of symptoms, I had all the emotional ones and a few of the physical symptoms. It’s been a struggle!

Over the years I have figured out how to manage my riotous hormones so that they don’t control my life so violently.

Here are some things that have helped me:

  • Detoxing my body – either through fasting, juicing, or raw food. The cleaner my body became the less violent my PMS was. I can’t back this up with science, but I’ve proved it over and over to myself.  
  • Watching what I eat. I saw great improvement when I cleaned up my diet: avoiding sugar and junk food. Eating whole grains and lots of fruit and vegetables, nuts and seeds. Avoiding processed food.

Our family went on an extended camping trip and because we were out in the sticks we ate a lot of pasta, junk bread, and baked beans. The very next month I noticed that my PMS symptoms were much worse.

  • Exercise. We all know that exercise is a mood enhancer – so get out there and move – even if it’s just 15 minutes. It definitely helps me.
  • Paw-paw. I put this on its own because it has had such an impact on my PMS. I tried starflower oil and evening primrose oil to no avail. Cal-mag helped minutely. Again, I can’t prove this scientifically, but from my own experience eating paw paw (papaya) as often as possible (preferably every day) helps the most.  
  • Practising self-control. Just because I feel grumpy doesn’t give me the right to treat others badly. I can choose to be cheerful even when I feel like breaking things and shouting. I don’t have to be ruled by my feelings. Man, this was hard but it has helped a lot!
  • Telling my husband and kids what’s going on. Letting my husband know what time of the month it is helps him understand me and have more sympathy for me. It’s amazing how far a little sympathy goes!

Telling my kids I may be a little grumpy today helps them too, as well as apologizing for snapping at them when I do.  

  • To combat libido issues I found choice to be the biggest factor. Just because I’m not in the mood doesn’t mean I have to say no. Sex isn’t only about me, after all. Granted, bloating and tender breasts can spoil things for you so let your husband know and ask him to avoid touching the tender areas.

I’m posting a link below of a video that explains a woman’s hormonal cycle. Richard and I watched it together and found it fascinating. It would definitely help men understand the monthly changes in a woman’s body, so I encourage the guys to watch it too J.  

My top 2 tips? Paw paw and choosing not to let my feelings rule me.

Here’s the link to that video:

How do you deal with PMS? Let me know what works for you!


[i] https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/premenstrual-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20376780

About The Author

Jennifer Lovemore

Jennifer has diplomas in relationship counselling and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), is a certified SYMBIS facilitator, and is certified in TPM (Transformation Prayer Minsitry). She lives in South Africa, has three grown children, and is married to her best friend – Richard.

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